If the Republican presidential candidates were Mad Men

In the interest of full disclosure, I've been avoiding the Republican debates because I have enough blood pressure problems to deal with, thank you. But one can't help but absorb information and opinions about the bedraggled GOP presidential candidates through osmosis. With that in mind...The Republican presidential candidates and their Mad Men counterparts. 


Inspired by this tweet from Conan O'Brien - https://twitter.com/#!/ConanOBrien/status/156533011976953857

Mitt Romney - Duck Phillips

Shut up, Duck.

Conan is absolutely right. The practiced-yet-awkward pitchman patter. The disgust he incurs with every attempt to be funny and loose. The casual homophobia. It's all there, and it's all Duck.

Newt Gingrich - Roger Sterling

Witty, philandering "idea man" who is busy shilling a book instead of doing a real job. I'm also not saying that Newt has ever done blackface, but the image is out there now.

Ron Paul - Bert Cooper

If you don't really pay attention to him, you think he's just an irrelevant, eccentric old codger. But if you get him on a rant - about race relations, for instance - a nasty, insidious streak is revealed. 

John Huntsman - Guy Mackendrick

Handsome, intelligent, and experienced man who has fallen victim to very bad timing. In any other election year, this man would be the front runner and probable nominee. But this year...

He'll never golf again.

Rick Perry - Lee Garner, Jr

A Texas-sized doofus content to ride his Good Ol' Boy persona straight into the ground. Persistent rumours about his sexual orientation fly. 

Rick Santorum - Salvatore Romano

That's a sweater vest, bitches.

Seriously though.